Tuesday is just around the corner. And with Tuesday comes the start of my students. I spent the summer preparing for this moment. I am ready. Here's my new gear. I will be wearing this to protect me from any spitting, biting or vomit. Notice the arm coverings. Where were those last year when I had that biter in my room?

For those kids who prefer stomping I will be wearing these. I did consider the steel-toed version but they are just so darn heavy.

These should protect me from the screamer. There's one in every bunch, ya know! (Actually all of my kids appear to use screaming as an outlet this year.)


And if all this gear can't protect me. This year I will be investing in this. It should do a great job providing me with a safe spot to teach from.

I'll let you know how Tuesday goes if I survive. And if I can stay up long enough to type after sitting in on the stupid webinar that will hopefully explain what the heck I am supposed to do on my graduate presentation.

There is apparently a problem with my English...or maybe it's my vocabulary...or maybe, just maybe the technology people in my district need to learn to LISTEN. We (my entire campus) just moved back to our newly renovated, freshly painted school. Funny, my old portable with the falling apart ceiling tiles still looks remarkably unchanged...but hey, the school looks great!

We were given strict instructions to have our computers in the location where we wanted them set up...by a certain date...or else. The tech guys were coming to our school on ONE day and ONE day only so get ready.

The internet/phone set up is an odd thing in our district. The announcements and the bell all come through the phone speaker now. AND, the phone doesn't need an electrical cord...it just plugs into the computer and the internet drop. (Internet drop...you'll be hearing that again...a few times) SO...apparently it takes a rocket scientist to connect all those pesky wires...cause ya know...us teachers...apparently are missing the appropriate brain cells to do it ourselves.

As instructed I left my computers/phone to be connected by the pros...who were apparently in a hurry the day they worked in my room. My phone...doesn't...work. So I did what I was supposed to do...I called the handy, dandy, help desk. First, I listened to a recording about how the calls were handled in the order they were received...yada, yada, yada. Then, the tech answered...HEY...when did we hire WOMEN techs?? Our conversation went something like this:

Tech: I checked with the techs and your campus is all configured. Everything works.
Me: Uh, no, my phone doesn't work.
Tech: Did you do the set up yourself?
Me: No
Tech: What do the wires look like that are coming from your phone?
Me: Internet wires? Ethernet cords?
Tech: Check your phone...see the blue wire...what is it plugged into?
Me: An internet drop.
Tech: NO, what is it plugged into? A black box?
Me: No, an internet drop...we were just renovated, remember?
Tech: Right, your phones are all configured correctly. How many plugs are on the drop?
Me: Two
Tech: Right, it's an internet drop...they all have two. (NO KIDDING!) Your phone should be working fine.
Me: K, but mine doesn't work.
Tech: Unplug the cords from your phone and look at the phone screen...what do you see?
Me: It's unplugged, it doesn't show anything.
Tech: ANSWER MY QUESTION. What do you see?
Me: Duh...I see a blank screen.
Tech: Right, the phone is unplugged. It should be blank.

At this point I am beginning to realize I am not going to be helped. The tech said she would have to "do some research" and call me back. Yep, still waiting on that call back.

I looked high and low for some gadget that would miraculously unpack the 30+ boxes that are still left in my classroom. Unfortunately, I found nothing. Which means tomorrow I will be back in the room, unpacking one box at a time until I make it til the last one.

At least I have an incentive tomorrow. At 1:00 I get to go have my hair color fixed...and the cost isn't going to make me faint...cause I asked ahead of time. I have lived with this scary color for the entire summer. I cannot wait to have normal hair again. No clue what I am talking about? Go here.

Summer is rapidly ending. Two more weeks and I am back at work. (Okay, actually I am back tomorrow...but I can leave anytime I want so that doesn't really count.)

My son has four brothers...who all have other mothers...adopted mothers, that is. Flapjack is the youngest. He has three brothers who live with one family and then the oldest brother lives with another family. All the boys live in the same town and know each other. Flapjack and the brother closest in age to him...let's call him Brother #1 love to spend time together. There is a 2 year age difference but you wouldn't know it to see them together.

This summer they have spent a ton of time together at the pool and back and forth at each other's houses. They think it is hilarious to tell people they are brothers. One of them will usually say, "This is my brother with another mother" and then burst into gales of laughter. No one else gets the joke. Today at the pool they were talking to a life guard and I could see the discussion was getting heated.

I swam near them and brother #1 yells out, "Tell her we're brothers!"

So I said, "Okay, they're brothers." The lifeguard laughed and said, "Yeah, right."

I said again, "They really are brothers." Poor thing...I should have offered an explanation but honestly the look on her face was priceless. Wonder if she'll figure it out on her own? Or if she'll ask? The boys were just happy I settled the matter.

It is odd how happy it makes me feel that they have such a strong bond. Seeing them together it is clear they are more than friends. They have an unbreakable bond...that survives the fights they often have...just like normal brothers do.

For those of you looking for a new laptop...here you go.

Of course it is slow, has zero room for any program of substance and comes with nothing novel...but hey...you would look great carrying it!

Yes, I realize it is Saturday. Pretend.